Just one Moment in forever

God is Good

2010-03-09T01:21:00.002+08:00

just dropping in to explain my recent and probably ongoing absence. i am still stopping by other blogs when i get the chance but we have a lot on ministry-wise at the moment and i have an intern to train up and a girl who has just begun her walk with god who needs intensive council and dicipleship as well as a whole group of new christians to teach and leaders to impart into... all in the time im not at work or tending to my own kids... i will stop in from time to time because i do like to write but as is i am very much enjoying this time in the moment rather than taking time to write about it.

We are still here!

2010-03-04T21:09:00.004+08:00

so its be a little crazy around here lately! Our big girl turned 4 this weekend just gone and it was lots of fun letting her be a princess for the day.

It was so hot we gave up on all other party activities and set up a slide and a paddling pool at the beach park where we had the party and let the kids go...

Cheeky thingwas already asking what she could do for her next birthday on the way home. In fact nearly everything that comes out of her mouth reminds me that she really isnt my baby anymore.

She is growing to be beutifully mannered, though temperamental at times, clever and good hearted (most of the time). She is definately got the maternal touch and babies her sister like she is her second mama.

looking forward to seeing what this year teaches us about who she is and what she will do.

Not me monday

2010-02-23T00:25:00.005+08:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I am not constructing my second post for the day just because I have some great material for NMM this week... nope not me.
Oh and i have not taken nearly a week to actually finish and post the previous post either. I am not that busy and over extended that I couldn't complete one blog post even though I really wanted to... nope, not me.

I did not spot a mysterious object in amongst our 'clean' washing as i was opening the machine only to realise my daughter who happens to put everything the undresses from in the washing basket, apparently had added soiled nappies to that list. If i had though, I most certainly would not have just re washed the load a few times until there was no trace of said 'object' and then rewashed 3 times with napisan and hot water... nope i would not show such blatant disregard for the sanctity of my washing machine! or the environmental cost of so many rewashes. No, not me!

I did not ignore the obvious fact my children were playing instead of sleeping after I put them to bed in hopes they may sleep in a little later that 545am... I was not highly impressed that it worked and considering doing it again even thought my nearly four year old couldn't keep her eyes open and 5 in the afternoon the next day... Nope, not me! i would most certainly put my children's well being ahead of my own never ending desire for more sleep...

I also did not leave my daughters 4th birthday party planning, including invitations until the week of her birthday... NOPE! not me, I am always organised and plan elaborate celebrations with hand crafted invites and matching name cards at the table set with each child's personalised party gift along with matching decor and .... oh, alright, we are having a BBQ at the park... i mean Nope, not ME!

I almost forgot... I did not in below mentioned emergency situation dial '911' when he emergency number in austrlia is 000, even though i have dialed 000 5 or more times before, and had the number drilled in since kindergarten... nope, not me. (luckily, you know, if i had done that, the call would play a friendly little message like "you have dialled emergency assistance, the number is 000, putting you through now" thus making said dialer realise their error.
This would not prove that i spend to much time reading american cops and cops wives' blogs :) and watching american TV... NOpe, certainly not me!

Faith restored

2010-02-20T14:45:00.006+08:00

So was going to blog about an experience i had Monday with some local police officers after we assisted a female involved in a D.V. situation while i was at work... i wont go into now but lets just say i was less that impressed with the interpersonal skills displayed by the officers (or lack there-of). Not to mention the lack of assistance in retrieving her young baby who was still in her house, as she had literally fled onto the street to get help and therefore technically left him in custody of the child. Apparently a child cannot be removed from custody of a parent without court order unless there are welfare concerns... i have welfare concerns for a child in house with a violent man who is very angry at the mother of the child... would YOU?

Previous to that day, police could do no wrong my eyes. I know quite a few cops and they are all good people too. I could give you a list of the things these particular officers did do wrong that day but i will just settle for praying my husband is never so busy being a cop he forgets to be a human being, as i am now well aware is possible.

So here the story was to end... except for the fact that I had an unusually dramatic week as by Tuesday I had phone emergency for the second time in as many days. This time a distressed client had attempted suicide just as i was starting my shift... The police arrived FAST (might help that we are 30 seconds from McD's ;) . After the initial drama settled down and the client was physically ok, the Senior officer started taking my statement and the other officer started talking to the young person, showing empathy, listening skills, reassuring body language (moving to eye level, open gestures etc) which I witnessed while I was in and out to check on the client. All in all the client was kept calm and distracted (necessary, for reasons i will spare on the details) for over 45 minutes it took for the ambulance to attend. Comparatively the previous days officers had made no attempt to 'help' or comfort the victim, hardly even assisting with her requests and definitely showing non of the interpersonal skills demonstrated by the following days officers.

We were so impressed by the officers genuine concern for and generosity of time with the young client we wrote a commendation letter to the commissioner.

Long story short... faith restored, maybe not to believing that all cops are saintly superheros, but at least that there are some that are.

God is Big

2010-02-09T22:51:00.004+08:00

So a little bit of background. We have this family in our church, all involved in our music team and very talented, non more so that the middle child (not quite a child now, hes like 16 or something). We will call him B, so B is very talented guitarist and used to play in our youth band and the church band. long story short, a few things lead to B disconnecting from church life about a year or so ago, although he still calls in occasionally he is lost in some pretty dodgy stuff at this point. So we have a new(ish) leader in our team who after B called into church one day really felt called to pray and interceed for B regularly so he did.(even though he had only breifly met him)
A couple of weeks go by and that particular leader is driving and stops to pick up a guy who was hitchhiking, and the guy turns out to be B. Odds of that in a city of 1.4 million, not like they both live near each other or anything because they dont. Totally Gods divine appointment. God is amazing.

Not me monday

2010-02-08T20:46:00.003+08:00

I am not doing my second post of the day in spite of a full laundry basket and dishes on my countertop... nope not me.

I did not eat 2 tubs of chocolate moose and chips for dinner, nope, not me. I am watching what i eat.

I was not late for dropping my little girls off at school on only her 3rd day, nope not me, i am far more organised than that.

I did not let my girls play in the bath for close to 45 minutes because they were nether arguing nor messing up the house...
Nope not me, my children get along fine all the time and tidy after themselves so i would never worry about those things.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

A Blog award

2010-02-08T19:20:00.006+08:00

Thank you Mrs Fuzz over at "a police wife" for the blog award. Here are the rules for accepting:

Copy the award image into a post
List 10 things that make you happy
Tag 10 bloggers who brighten your day
Put a link to their blogs
Notify the award receivers
Recipients should link back to the sender's blog

my 10 happy things:

family time...you know whan all the members of our family are in the same place at the same time
a clean and organized home (i second that Mrs Fuzz!)
chocolate
Singing (on stage, in the car, anywhere really)
My youth group
getting out wit my husband
the beach
bargains and sale shopping- oh and ebay
painting
all things baby related- i was shopping for baby furninture years before i was even married

Here's some(it supposed to be 10 but most of the people i interact with in blog land have got this one already i think) people I'm giving it out to. No pressure if it's not your thing.

Carly- wat she does over at to write thier names in the sand brings a little happiness to each of the women/families in what might be their darkest hours

Cop Mama

Momma Val

and a couple of blogs i have recently found...

Pennie at Mom Thoughts

A new mom

and to round it out, Amanda at confessions of a wannabe supermom, just coz her crazy life reminds me a little of mine and it makes me happy to know that other people survive life at this pace

Black and White Wednesday

2010-02-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

Found this over at Cop Mama's blog... started by The long road to China and decided to join in with this shot i took last weekend.

first day at school... public v private?

2010-02-03T14:19:00.007+08:00

One happy little kindy kid... She has been counting the sleeps until she could go to school

She absolutely loves getting dressed in her 'nuniform'...

Unleashing the poser with in!

One more bonus of havin a shift workin cop daddy is he gets to come for our first day of school!
And pick up too! (In the background is mrs groves who i am trying to teach grace to stop calling Mrs gross, but i think the whole class has got her name wrong as i have heard others doing it too)

I made the decision a long time ago to send y kids to public schol at least for primary school (first seven years). Finances has a little to do with it (about $60 a year vs $4000) but mostly it comes down to the options available. The best performing schools in our state are the private catholic schools, but I cant stand the religious factor. I mean i am a Christian and i love going to church but there are so many rules and regulations and routines in catholicism that i dont feel bring us any closer to God, but anyway that is a whole differet topic. Digressing... for that reason idont want to send my girls to a catholic school.
The Christian schools in our state whos beliefs are most aligned to ours are all strictly christian enrolments only by pastoral reference and i dont feel that segregating my children from the world they will evenually have to interact with will benifit them. I truly belive when our beliefs are challenged we are sharpened and grow, and the opportunity to share Christ and our testimony with friends is paramount in our walk with God.
There are baptist schools who's doctrine is good and enrol all students but the ones in our area don't fare much better academically than the public schools and i just cant justify so much extra money when i feel i can teach Christian values and lead my children in finding a relationship with God at home...

So we have done our research and got grace into a great schol in our area, and i plan to chec out their teachers each year and keep up with the programming so i can make sure we discuss any conflicting things that come up values and beliefs wise and plan to make a decision about highschool a bit further down the track. that said, If being in that environment has a negative impact on the girls we will find the money to send them to a Christian school.

I would love to hear what you all think/what your experiences have been

Tom boy toddler

2010-01-26T23:34:00.006+08:00

Jaeda...

The ultrasound tech couldnt tell me if whe was a boy or girl, and sometimes i wonder still...

Unlike her sister J is loud, more than mildly destructive, hard hitting and resiliant and more often than not referred to as the animal of the family.

Openly defiant but quick to repent, miss J is less focused that her sister but far more headstrong.

Given the option at the aqaurium of about 15 animals to colour in including all the pretty ones like dolphins and seahorses J choose the shark, then as she takes 10secs to cover the pic in blue crayon she goes back to select...the shark again... not once but 3 times. When suggesting the pretty coral scene I was met with a determined "No, i donnn liiiyyyke it!"

Jaeda's favourite game is hiding in her closet and jumping out at people "roaring".She is pretty convincing too. :D

She loves dinosaurs (and ocasionally ballerinas), racing cars and iggle piggle.

She is a jumping,climbing, running, water baby and she loves sleep, her sister and puzzles and FOOD!!!

Most recently she made off with Graces toy baking set only to use the "electic beater" by removing one beater and putting it on the wall like an electric drill, saying "fix it".

I guess there had to be one considering their mother was a skateboarding, baggy pants wearing, owner of only one solitary pair of shoes (skate shoes) with not a skirt or dress to be found until a wedding dress made its way into the closet...

Grace-isms

2010-01-26T06:55:00.004+08:00

a few from the files

"Mum its raining out...do you have an under-brella"

"no its not a tramp-olene mum its a Jumpolene" well yes that would make more sense

"Mum where is Jesus"... "does that mean he is riding in the back of our car right now"

and after hearing alot that Jesus is in our heart and not know the difference between her heart and other insides
"But i Neeeeed more food because when i eat my food then Jesus can get it and he might be hungry"

An the latest one....When about to call our friend who has just had another baby...
"mum, Aunty Carly has 3 babies...(me well kind of)...We need another one too. Me:you will have to talk to you dad about that one Grace: NO, we can just borrow another mummy to grow one coz i dont want you to go to the hospital again and then we can have another brother or sister and the other mummy can go home.
Nice Plan Grace :)

Some belated photos

2010-01-12T23:23:00.011+08:00

For some reason I couldnt get these to download the other night so i had to save copies elsewhere on my harddrive and it worked.
These photos where taken by an officer who goes to our church(the uniformed officer in the group pic below), who happens to do a bit of photography on the side. Many thanks to him as my camera had nither the zoom or resolution to get good shots where we could actully pic D from the crowd.

I have not included some shots as too many other officers where visable. I have also blurred any other officers in close view and some details for obvious privacy reasons as although you would really need to be directed to find this blog it is technically a public forum.

Funnily enough in our fairly small church there are 4 regularly attending cops, i am yet to decide whether our church is appealing to a particular personality type that includes alot of cops or if there are just alot of christian cops out there.

2010-01-12T01:01:00.003+08:00

I am not such a hopeless blogger as to not have even posted some christmas photos...

And i most definately would not have neglected to post some pics from Grace's first ballet recital.

Nope...not me!
.

I Did not laugh out loud when my 3 year olds first comment when i pointed out a 7 year old amazingly talented piano player on morning TV was "he doesnt have any friends does he". Nope, i am far more responsible and woul most definately have told my daughter immediately that that was an inappropriate and not very nice thing to say. (I actually decided she probably just meant because he was all alone on a big stage)

Oh and i did not just realise that those are sideways and simply ignore that fact as i cant be bothered reloading them...nope, not me

Academy days are over...

2010-01-09T21:34:00.006+08:00

I cant believe about 2 years ago my husband, then a qualified tradie started throwing around some talk about joining the police. 6 months of think about it, more than a year of tests, exams and qualifying, appointments and tryouts, and 6 months of academy you think i would be used to it right...well no, i still cant believe he just went and became a cop...

The Gradution was great...although the newly appointed constables were very hot out on that parade ground. Our girls watched their daddy march and even tried a bit of marching themselves much to the amusement of those seated around us. A few guys from church turned out too which I think D really appreciated.

We had the celebration ball that night which was nice...

we landed up on a fairly quiet table, but the table next to us, the younger recruits more than made up for our table. D made a great speech for his squad and the high ranking officers and supervisors made a point of coming over to tell him their table were placing bets on how long (or not) it was going to to take him to be promoted to their ranks.
While i am on a boasting role, D picked up 2 out of 10 awards distributed over the 2 squads, the good samaritan award and the professional conduct award.

So we were stuffed and so keen to get home at the end of the night and we pulled into our drive way and D slows down to make sure a couple who are fighting, shouting and pushing and shoving each other are Ok, and because we were driving slowly (thank God) i noticed something on the road. It took me a second or two to realise it was a girl face down in the road. So the couple are really screaming it out at this stage and the girl is sounding very frantic so Duncan and I quickly figure the girl is passed out, get her to respond and move out of the road and he heads over to check if the girl who is screaming needs assistance and i do my best to keep the girl, who is absolutly tonked, off the road. Long story short the two things were unrelated, everyone on our street just had a bad night at once.
I just praise God we had slowed down because of the couple because we would have otherwise probable turned into our garage just short of where the girl was lying, leaving her exposed to anyone driving down our street.

Oh and my apologies to the call centre, as i had dialed 000 when i noticed the girl in the road and we had trouble waking her, but once i was talking to the dispatcher she had responded and was adamant about not wanting an ambulance, but at this point i though the female screaming may need assistance, so i started to outline that situation, and then things there calmed down and they went their separate ways so i sort of had to explain that while i had half described two potentially emergency situations, i actually didn't need anyone to respond. I wonder what she thought, maybe that i was just reporting things for my own entertainment or something, at least that was what her tone of voice suggested.

I am pretty sure D enjoyed "having" to tell the girl that he was an off duty police officer and couldn't just leave her in the street as she suggested we do. (not that he would have left her regardless of his occupation).

Success...

2009-12-30T07:52:00.002+08:00

Success comes in many forms to our household recently... jaeda is all but completely potty/toilet trained...SUCCESS!, both girls are now swimming freely around the deep end of the pool, under supervision of course...Success,(photos to come when i get home). D enjoyed his first night out for real on the job, even though it was in our states most notorious entertainment precinct... Success. I slept until 10 am yesterday as the kids slept at their Grannys house, now that i promise you that is a success!

My only lack of success has been in making new years eve plans. D is working and all of our frinds have travelled (as we all did last year) 8 hours south of here to an awesome little holiday town for the summer break. Both our parents have plans and althe other babysitters went with the crew south, although i wouldnt have much to do even if i could find a baby sitter. Maybe I will go hire some movies (TV is notoriously bad on weekend nights and holidays) and do my usual, resulting in me feeling about 2 decades older than i really am.

Thanks wa police!

2009-12-13T17:45:00.003+08:00

...so D spoke to his squad supervisor and he has organised for duncan to work monday at a station instead of on saturday night so he can come to Graces concert... I cant believe how much effort they are willing to go to. Today i am very glad the WA police promote and actually live up to being a family friendly career choice.

Today i am not so stoked to be a cops wife...

2009-12-08T16:58:00.003+08:00

The first real downfall to being a cops wife strikes. We have just realised that Duncans squad have been assigned to an event on the 19th of this month, which is the same night as our (nearly) 4-year-old's first dance recital/ballet concert, which the whole family has already bought tickets for. She is so excited and dances around the house after every saturday practice.
How are we going to explain the empty seat where her Daddy should be. "Daddy has to work so we have money to buy all the things we need" just isnt gonna cut it on this one :(

umm... huh? did that just happen?

2009-12-07T13:11:00.005+08:00

So we made a decision. We applied for Duncan to be posted at the town that is just 45 minutes out of town. Started making plans and all. Duncan heard a perfectly timed post for a probationary constable (what the recruits are) was available just as their squad finished training. Only one other guy from his squad applied, and as squad leader Duncan knew this guy has only done average in his assessments and didn't pass the driver training so wasn't even qualified to do high priority and pursuit driving so we were totally sure we would get the spot.
One week passes... so the other guy got the spot. Come again...how does that happen.

So here we are, at plan B. Knowing God is in control and its not his plan B.

So i will sign off with a few photos from our suprise trip to Sydney

Some family highlights

2009-11-16T22:49:00.008+08:00

With both of us on shift work, we really try to make the most of out family time together as it can be a sparse at times,
Pose much?
Super golf. i have a theory, anyone really good at anything says they started at 3. So we are starting Grace in everything so she can be great at anything she wants! No but really, she likes golf, like her Daddy...

Guess what else they like...

Especially when they get to make them for themselves...

(self explanatory really, that one)

We have been practicing writing letters for Daddy when he is not at home.

Hanging out in the pool at home with poppy (or the spa coz its warmer)

And Nan,

At the park...

with Aunty Tess

And Uncle Andy and our friends

And attempting to get some photos for christmas cards...

but hiding in the ferns was aparently much more amusing, so we tried again

and again

And again

and again

and again

i guess we will just have to try again

a bright spark

2009-11-16T21:57:00.003+08:00

Just an amusing story D told me some of his academy mates told him recently, since i havnt shared for a while.

Background necessary info- police recruits are ranked officers from day one of academy and while issued with badge and authority that comes with it, recruits are required to change out of uniform before leaving academy as they have not got the experience or training to deal with a situation as a uniformed officer.

After training a group of recruits from D's squad had changed out of uniform and were walking over the car park. they noticed a vehicle travelling at considerable speed and one told D he thought to himself "that guy isn't gonna make it round that roundabout". Turns out he was quite correct and the male driver crashed over the roundabout, veering up onto a post. The recruits ran over to assist the guy who stumbled out of his vehicle, at which point one asked "are you ok, are you hurt" to which he replied "yeah, yeah, just help me get this off here before the cops get here" wish i could have seen his face when the whole lot of them told him 'mate, we are all cops!'

inspired...

2009-11-05T00:47:00.004+08:00

I just read this over at Mamma Val's blog...
10) I believe that children are an important part of the world but not that they should be the center of the universe. I am always pointing out to my son that there are people trying to shop and eat and live around him and to use a restaurant voice, watch where you're going, etc. Nothing bothers me more than parents that let their children run wild and glare at the rest of the world around them.

Its something I think about alot and so when my comment got to about 2 paragraphs i decided it need its own post.

We all know those parents, and probably all are those parents sometimes, nearly run over by someones trolley in the shop, and instead of appologising that our child was running amok in the shop, said parent shoots the evil eye at the most likely innocent trolley driver. Child never does anything wrong, never gets told no( not helped by farcical parenting theories like positive parenting) and knows no boundaries.

Kids with no boundaries test to see where it stops, taking whatever ground they can in the process. this might be funny in a toddler, cute in a preschooler and a bit annoying in a small child but as the child becoumes older and more adventurous it can become dangerous, at very least to themselves. This is why i think about this so much. I work with 'at risk' teenagers, in particular those facing homelessness. Without specifically adding up, i would guess-timate about 20% are from genuine abuse situations, 20% due to family breakdown or financial/circumstancial events and the rest are kids who have never been told no or been given enough boundairies until it is too late. They come to us because there parents usually kick them out because their behaviour gets so bad or are constantly in conflict because they finaly hit issues the parent has to say no to- criminal activity, drugs, risky behaviour etc.

Sometimes the parents even continue to make excuses for their child. I will never forget one boy, good heart, just doing whatever he wanted, and as a 16 year old boy with a lack of guidence and boundaies those things involved stealing cars for the fun of it, regular drug and alcohol use, graffiti etc. His parents dropped him off because he had broken a window at thier house when they finally tried to say no to him going out on a saturday night with frinds he had previously been arrested with. He continued to struggle with any boundaries while staying with us and it was clear he had never had any growing up. After not very long he was exited from our service for not followingthe rules, and while we helped him find other emergency accomodation, he apparently got in trouble after leaving and ended up in juvinile detention. Then i got a phone call and copped an earful and then some from his mother who had decided that it was our fault he was locked up, although we had exited him for the same kinds of reasons they had kicked him out.

Kids need boundaries and rules. They build a childs confidence and maximise potential while keeping them safe and saving parents sanity too. I get so frustrated with the whole "let them do whatever they want or you might stiffle thier creativity"philosophy that seems to be pushed by all the modern parenting resources, well at least most of those i was provided by government hospital and community health care system. I see the results every day of the lack of discipline in our society... If a small child is allowed all the freedom in the world, exactly what age do you try to restrict them... i know from experience trying to take back premature freedoms is much harder than not allowing them in the first place. I think alot of parents wait until it is far too late (like early teens).

I know i am far from the best parent in the world but i have seen the many benifits of boundaries in my childrens lives from better sleep to the many more freedoms they have because they have learnt boundaries young. For example I can let my 2 year old walk along side me in the shop because she knows she will stay along side me, and my children can use textas and paint because i can trust they will only put it on paper, We can go out because i know my children can behave in public and can sit when need be, quietly and play within given boundaries if allowed etc.

The aim of parenting is not to raise a child, but to raise a well adjusted, considerate and independant adult. Unfortunately the child centred parenting philosophy seems to contribute to self centeredness and limits healthy mature independance.

Now that i feel like i have subjected you all to something that reads alot like one of my university essays (although it has been a couple of years snce i did one of those) i will get off my high horse and pray i dont offend anyone, as that is really not my aim, just to forewarn. I feel having seen the results first hand it would be irresponsible not to share the information. Please, tell me what you think, or if you are interested ask me what i think about anyhting to do with this topic. I am very aware that no one set of rules or guidlines works for everychild or parent, and would love to hear some things that have or have not worked for you.

its the little things

2009-10-20T02:44:00.006+08:00

They say its the little things that count... well its the little things that can ruin your day/week as the case may be. Ridiculous isn't it. Our kids are whole and healthy, we have great jobs, and youth and church are going AWESOME. Yet i still find myself feeling nearly defeated today. Not quite, but nearly.
I have lost my phone which doesn't seem like much but we dont have a home phone and so now i have no means of contact with hubby, and when working opposite shifts that can be really hard,not to mention having no contact with the outside world while he is out on shift, and add to that the holiday photos that I havnt been able to download yet and the 50 a month plan i will have to keep paying, on top of a new one if I have to replace it. Oh and I couldnt sleep before my night shift tonight because I couldnt find anything else in my house to use as an alarm.
Add to that, that we backtracking a bit financially which comes with its own stresses, and the fact that my 2 year old has picked this week to be the most defiant little thing on the face of the planet, refusing to stay in bed, or do anything she is told for that matter, and makes for a not so enjoyable start to the week. Every time i try to get it in perspective and get my attitude right something else happens.
Well i am on night shift, and am totally freaking out now because there has been a headlice outbreak (i guess you get that when you work with homeless people) so now instead of sleeping when i get home i will be doing washing and combing hair, making sure i have not taken a little 'bonus' home form work with me.
I prayed for an insightful relevant devotional time on friday and i was lead to scripture about how the enemy aims to wear down those that oppose him and in my bible there was a side study about the scripture and how to deal with the enemies relentless effort in ruining your effectiveness through hindering your day to day life.
So it is by the little things the attack has come and one little thing God showed me that will mean i will only feel nearly defeated.

Walking a while in my shoes...

2009-10-12T20:09:00.004+08:00

not quite a mile, if i disappeared somewhere and there was noone else to cook and clean then maybe he might have to walk a mile but for now i will settle for a little while... I will explain.

These last 3 weeks D has been doing weapons training at the academy and as all the police a required to retrain once a year, the training facility is booked up during day hours when fewer officers are working so the recruits train in the evening. So for three weeks D has been hanging out at home during the day until 3 with us and then off to work until 11, much the same as I do on my non overnighter week at work. I think he kind of gets it now. You see who ever is on the afternoon "shift" at home has 3 hours with the kids until they go to bed then 4 hours down time. being at home with the family until 3 (when said family is made up of preschooler and toddler) is pretty full on, and then with no break off to work.

Now i am the one who gets the 4 hours down time to chill with no one else requiring attention or entertaining, and I get why he asks what i did all day. that is soooo much time to have nothing occupying your time. I dont think he will ever ask again "what have you done today", with a look that says why is there still dishes on the bench.

disclaimer- i do have to say as much as he is still male, i have to be honest and say i really dont have a leg to stand on when complaining about my husband. He has praobably changed nearly as many nappies as me, often is the first to get up for the kids, feeds, baths and dresses them after he gets home from work and will help around the house if I ask.(He does have that inate male quality of not knowing what needs to be done even when the washing pile is a metre high and there are no dishes left in the drawers or cupboards) He opens any door for me and is very willing provider of back rubs, foot rubs, gifts,encouragement and compliments, cute messages, prayer and Godly direction and even cups of tea recently. So even if he 'forgets' to take out the rubbish or conveniently 'cant' remember how to use the washing machine or dishwasher (even though he can operate machinery, power tools and model aircraft), I guess I have to admit i am absolutely blessed beyond measure in the husband department.

peaches- part II

2009-09-29T19:39:00.004+08:00

As much as leaving is pretty much tearing me up inside, going somewhere new, well sounds pretty peachy to me. The PRO's

outdoor living in the country, and a (pretty nice from what my cop friends tell me)house with a yard (rent free thank you very much).
A break from the crazyness of late that has decended on my life/schedule.
Not having to work(because of the extra pay for country cops and other perks) but having the oppertunity to look for and only take a job i really want to do, like the rehab centre that is in one of the country towns we are considering.
Days at the beach
A new community to discover
New oppertunties to serve a small country church/youth ministry if they have one.
(our senior pastors are thinking about church planting wherever we go, that would rule out my nice little break theory but if that is Gods plan i will make it through i am sure.
fresh country food- maybe growing a vegie garden or fruit tree or two.
Catching up with country friends we know down south (where we are mostly looking at posts)

Among other things, it is all quite exciting. One of my favorite things to do is setting up house so moving doesnt really faze me particulary when the police are provided with all expenses payed removalists when going country!

Also, Mrs Fuzz was asking a bit about how police employment/academy etc works here. Conditions and perks for police here are very good and even the hours are very flexible in what shifts you work, whether you do 4 x 10s or 5 x 8s, where you are stationed etc(all within reason of course), you even have the option of being payed 80% wage and taking the 5th year off payed at 80% wage. 6 weeks annual leave ,unlimited sick leave and that is all before country perks. Anyway my point is that it is incredibly competive to become an officer in Western Australia and you are subjected to more than a year on and off of intense testing, scrutiny, phsycological evaluations, physical challenges etc at your own expense before joining the academy. You are employed the day of beginning academy and are fully sworn in, given badge and everything, and officers even begin doing event policing/security towards the end of thier 6 month academy time.
Duncan is due to finish on the 6th of January.

I hope that all makes sense :)

movin to the country...gonna eat me alot of peaches

2009-09-22T23:01:00.005+08:00

i dunno if they were an Australian band- they were called the presidents of the USA or something like that but they sang this song
wait let me see if i can find a clip...
PEACHES
there you go. So this song has been in my head for like the last 2 months.
So this is how my life took a dramatically different course, leading me to be unable to get this song out of my head. 5 years ago i married i man...a tradesman with a pastoral gift and leadership abilities. We served in the youth group and we ran the youth group. We became the youth pastors and I figured we would pastor eventually, full time. Maybe he would pastor a church and I would use my social science degree and social work experience to set up a ministry for the down and out, maybe teenage mums, maybe drug rehab clients maybe all of the above... this was my plan.
Well since we got married anyway. My original plan was to serve with the leadership of my old church in a paid ministry role, but then we got married and he didn't feel right about moving to my church...in hindsight I see that That was my comfort zone, not Gods plan, but i left my friends and spiritual family and everything i was aspiring to then, and well 5 years later it is like de ja vu(figuratively speaking, coz I don't really believe in that kind of thing).
I have a job and a plan and dreams, and i really don't see how any of it fits with where we seem to be heading now. I am discovering what really is meant by walking by faith. I have a peace about all the decisions we have made leading up to this point. Now we need to decide where we are going in just 12 weeks time.

When D signed up we(I) was convinced we would do country posting MUCH furthur down the track and D would work local to our church, my work,family, friends, our lives. Then came the nearly perfect compromise, a country posting just 45 minutes from where we live now. i could still be involved in ministry and wouldn't have to work because of the country pay perks. Then that did not work out as they are not going to take on a Probationary officer. Now i cant seem to backtrack with D and country seems to be the only thing being considered...hence...this song.

I am quite emotionally attached to my church, my ministry and youth group. It is such an exciting time and I am finally finding the time to connect with new leaders, i know that leaving is going to be devastating for me...again. All the reasons i have to stay though are my own selfish ones. I don't feel like we are meant to stay, in fact i think God has been very deliberate about moving us out at a time when others will HAVE to step up and out of their comfort zones. I just doesn't seem to make it any easier though...
I will part II this post later with my thought about where we are going.

Not me monday

2009-09-21T22:43:00.001+08:00

I did not post a title with nothing under just to be in the first 20 or so not mes on mckmamas blog...nope not me.

I did not forsake blogging for a few weeks due to family holiday and lots on at church and I definately did not loose the cable that lets me put photos from my phone onto my laptop so have not yet posted photos of said holiday( if that was why i had been away from the blog).

I did not book 2! big buses to take the youth from our church to a statewide youth concert...no way, last year we barely could fill 2 cars! Nope not me- really! what has happened could only be God.

I did not make above mentioned youth wear red and attach red streamers to them selves as i was afraid of loosing someones child in the 6000 strong crowd...and I was definately not kinda proud that it was my youth group that started the mexican wave in the stadium! Nope, not me.
And I was not REDICULOUSLY STOKED to see my favourite ever band Relient K play LIVE!- ok maybe still a little too excited about it to not me that one!

I did not buy black skinny leg jeans this week... nope not me, i am a mother of 2 children and far too old for such 'in fasion' clothing! Ok so i am only 24, just, so maybe i just feel too old.

...sounds a bit like the quater life crisis (like a mid life crisis for 20 somethings), i have been teasing my husband about for a while!

in the meantime...

2009-09-16T14:39:00.002+08:00

sorry...it has been a while hasnt it... we went away and i hope to share some photos of that as soon as i find the connector cable for my phone camera. until then i will post this...i took it a little before she turned 2

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-09-01T18:05:00.008+08:00

My ~~little~~ girl is 2 today. She is not a baby anymore. She lay back while i was holding her in church on Sunday and said "baby" in a begging kind of tone. You know if they are old enough to ask to be the baby they really arent anymore!
Miss J has been the eternal infant, I am sure she looks almost exactly as she did at like 5 months old, just bigger.

*i promise to add photos to the post when i am home on my own computer.
She talked later than her sister(although more now), is chubby like a baby still, still likes to be rocked and held like a baby and is a crumbling mess if i forget her "mook" (milk). She also is still in nappies unlike her sister at this age...
do a dare tell you i tried taking her nappys off the last few days- results, about 40 litres of urine on my floor, and one other accident, and...wait for it.... absolutely nothing in the toilet. So i am off to the shop to buy the kid nappies for her birthday. No, not really.

I guess all this baby behaviour has been good for quashing my cluckiness until recently...although now we are looking at a slightly unconventional way to grow our family in the near future...but more on that later.

We had a little party for J at the park where she climbed too high on the equipment, ran around with her friends and ate 5 cupcakes (4 were mini ones, ok). The weather was just warm enough and it was a great time.

Happy Birthday Baby J. Cant believe I dont have ANY babies in my house anymore!

2009-08-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

I went back to the memorial park where we said Goodbye to Joe last year, almost i year exactly, not of my own accord mind you. I went to be there for my friend. I still cant imagine how both of us, childhood friends from the age of 6- have lost our only brother the same way in one year.
Being at the service reminded me of being around her family as a child. Her parents were good to me. Bobbo always told marika (light heartedly) to 'get the wadgy girl out my house'. Eventually he just called me wadgy. Wadgilla is the term used now to refer to White people generally although it started as a negative description of the early settlers. Really it was a colour blind relationship I had with their family, and still is despite our cultural reality being very different. To most it is us and them in Australia. The indigenous Australians and the European Austrlians. Our worlds overlap some but Despite all the 'multicultural' policy efforts and positive discrimination as they call it,Australia is still very divided in spirit and in outcomes such as health and education. I never realised I was being allowed into a world that i didnt belong and I never though twice about whereing a shirt promoting Nyoongah culture or the aboriginal flags as i often borrowed from Marika. I was privaledged in my opinion and as I stood in a crowd today where I must not have looked like I belonged, I heard cry of mother for a son, uncles for a nephew and memories shared between friends. Our pain is the same. God created us all the same dispite our uniqueness and differences, we are the same in spirit.

Tonight i am praying for my friend and her family. I am praying against depression, suicide and drug use in all young people in Austrlia and I am praying for the Aboriginal community in Australia, that they would be freed from the things that are leading them to have higher than average rates of drug use and suicide.

Not my child monday

2009-08-24T22:55:00.005+08:00

So it was not my perfectly well behaved child who pretended to put her babysitter in jail the whole time she was watching them and insisted she could not come out and go to thier 'party'. She did not follow this up by 'rargh'ing at our babysitter insttead of saying goodbye. she would never be so rude. Not my child.

It was not my child who hopped herself out of bed at Granny's house and attempeted to get onto the toilet (who knows why as she isnt even toilet trained yet). If it was her, she wouldnt have been so uncoordinated as to end up with one leg in the toilet and definately would not have wandered out infront of all her Grannys guests with pants around her ankles saying "mesth" (mess).

It was definately not both my children who happened to discover a box full of the absolute noisiest toys in the house while we were having a leaders meeting at out house and would not have busted the out during the prayer at the end of the meeting.
Picture clack clack worm pull along toy on tile floors in hall way...
Nope, my children are used to these things and know how to behave accordingly.

Not my child monday is a variation of the not me monday posts started my mckmama-find her and others not me and not my child monday postshere

the week that took a nose dive....

2009-08-18T17:59:00.004+08:00

so it has been a while hasnt it? so long that I had 9 follwers now i have only 8... well here is a little of why the delay.

Things were ok(maybe even really good!) the beggining of this week. i had a great time taking the alternative eduction students from the program our church runs to see Reggie Dabbs. Reggie is a phenomenal youth speaker who connects and speaks to youth especially those in dark places, in a way i have never seen anyone else do. Our students got alot out of his message praise God and the all got free tickets to the outreach event next month -PRAISE GOD coz we were going to buy them!

D is enjoying academy and has been kept on as sqauad leader even though the are supposed to give other people a go, the supervising seargent dosnt wasnt want D to hand over the stripes.
There is a possibility(probability) of a sweet country post only 45 minutes from where we live(we live on the outer edge of the metro area) which would be great and come with a rent free house, early probation finish and 20% more pay!

so heres where things took a turn for the worse...
Sunday night got a message from mum saying "call me, Marika (a old school friend who i have not seen in a few weeks) is here, call NOW"
I knew it wasnt good. This was my best friend since grace one (first year of school age 5). I was at her house all the time, even went to family events with them (picture irridescent white child-me-at Aboriginal family events)...i knew her brother, he had had a drug problem when we were in highschool. I thought he was past that, he had a 3 year old son. I hadn't seen him in years.
I called mum, she put her on the phone to me.
I dont really remember what she said just "he went the same way as Joe" .

Rest in Peace Robert (Bobbo) Eggington

Afternote: i will delete this post in a day or two because i want to share this blog with my friend and I dont want her to have to face this post.

Not-not me monday

2009-08-10T23:37:00.005+08:00

I dont much feel like a funny Not Me Monday post. There really have been a lot of things i have not done which i probably should have (or definitely) so in the spirit of not me Monday, i did not...

not take out the rubbish all week resulting in a bin unable to be seen under the rubbish pile covering it...

not turn off the kids dvd after it finished resulting in it playing over again and them watching it over again...

not cook dinner on at least 3 nights this week...

not give sick hubby any sympathy, seeing as he has been sick for the last 6 weeks on and off and if not sick, tired and sore from the acadamy physical training, either way he cant take out the rubbish for me

not plan games for youth until the last minute or tell hubby it was his turn to preach this week until say... that afternoon,

not leave the spilled weetbix on the kids table and conceed that it is in fact cement with brown food colouring therefore I should not waste my time cleaning it now that it is dry...

and not write a blog post for like 2 weeks!

I AM tired, emotional, a little overstretched and i think my eye has a permanant twitch at the moment like one of those cartoon women about to snap...*cue extreme eye closeup and scary music*.

i assure all though I (probably) wont go off the deep end just yet. I am greatful for my family who are with me to cause stress, thankful for the provision of my (time consuming) job, prayerful my husband will be on the mend for real this time, hopeful for our future and excited about the growth of our ministry. Most of the time...

a little time out in the country might be very necessary by the end of this year though!

Stellan

2009-07-28T04:11:00.003+08:00

Instead of reading my pointless rant...i should pray it out and quit blogging it out!...pray for this little guy and his family. He is not in good way...

DONT READ THIS-seriously just an emotional rant

2009-07-28T03:26:00.004+08:00

Lately i have been reading alot of police/police wife blogs, you know just coz, and i am on overnight shifts with some time to kill... and just recently i was thinking about this program we usually do called red frogs- sort of a chaplaincy program for all the school levers who go on massive road trips and have weeklong parties, the call it leavers or schoolies here(for American readers). So D wont be able to do that with me this year coz not only will he have work commitments, it would be a conflict of interest... got me thinking.
For at least a while know we seemed to be headed down the pastoring path and i just imageined i would be a pastor/pastors wife you know with a church and stuff eventually. i dont know how that fits with this new path he has choosen. Since ministry is very much what i have lived for for years, a different future is somewhat daunting.
The more i read cop blogs the more i realise we are in for a very different reality to what i thought and for the first time i feel like i will be laying down some of my dreams for his. But i know God is in control and when we decided he would apply, this is the path we felt he should take.
I now face the prospect of country time, leaving my youth, our church and all the ministry roles I exist in. I face the very real possiblity that his shifts will conflict with youth commitments and church commitments even if we can stay in the city. In ministry I am the organiser and facilitator but he is the pastor. He is the shepherd, where I sometimes lack in the relational side of ministry, and i dont know where the ministry would be if i were in it alone.

His shifts on top of my shift work is beginning to take a bit of a toll on us, and we are struggling to find someone to look after the kids during our shift overlaps. I cant begin to see how our family will look like what i imagined even 1 year ago

So now i will stand in faith, and hold onto the the prophesies and dreams God has given me, knowing He was fuly aware i would be married to cop and His words will not return to Him void.

Forgive me if i get a little emo on everyone, life is just a bit raw at the minute and i dont really mind sharing because i feel quite on edge, so atleast if people who know me read this they might understand why.

On a different subject but part of i guess what is making me really raw is this month. I dread the beginning of August. August brings with it the count down to 1 year passes, until my birthday. click on Joes Legacy to understand. i really dont want to actually write any of that out. This sucks actually. I dont want to have a birthday but i cant figure out a way to avoid it. i dont want a birthday gift or card. Actually all birthdays are difficult because of the memories and thoughts but i havnt figured out a way to avoid those either.
so if you knw me, dont wonder why my phone is off on my birthday and im not home and i delete happy birthday messages off facebook.

dude i should not blog at 4 in the morning while emo and after 1(apparently too many) red bulls...sorry if you had to read that

Not (my child) Monday

2009-07-20T11:25:00.005+08:00

Before i start, i will say, i must be a little ahead of the pack because I have done a couple of these, but just as not me monday from the point of view of Jaeda, my youngest. This post I will write about what my children have (not)done.
Daddys Bible-

Need i say more than this was not my youngest child... certainly not

It was not my oldest child who thought it appropriate and warrented to wake up the whole house before the sun came up on the only sleep in day we get each fortnight, by yelling and crying because she couldnt find the little plastic dinosaur she got in a party bag at daycare that day! Nope she is much more reasonable and considerate and not that attatched to ridiculously unimportant and inanimate objects.

The childrens church have been learning a a song for the fruit of the spirit. Grace is the youngest in the 'big kids church' but loves it. They have been learning the song that goes...the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience and kindness and goodness...etc. It was most certainly not my child singing the whole week " the fruit of the spitit is love-your-peas, patience and kind-of goodness". Nope she is the child of leaders in the church and would most certaily know these things properly by now!

After dinner out at a silver service resturant, it was not my child who, while waiting for her dinner, properly declared "i need a towel" while looking haughtily down to her lap where the napkin had been placed for her by the waiter at the resturant. Nope not my child. She certaily knows the difference between wait staff and her mother... RIGHT?

Miss confidence, Grace also did not suffer from stage fright at the beggining of her ballet routine either! not my child! i wish i kept videoing, because if that had been my child she might have kept that up for about a minute and a half and it would have been funniest home videos worthy!

One proud mama (and papa n granny n grandpa!)

2009-07-19T19:16:00.008+08:00

WARNING- pointless boasting about my own child ahead...

Grace has been doing ballet lessons for one term. She is the newest and youngest in her class but miss proper has to get it right so formal lessons suit her- she loves it and she is doing really well. i didnt realise how much they are learning.. i was so absorbed in watching her perform that i forgot to video when she did her solo (i dont know the french terms) where she did a skip along on toes, a turn and reach out with one arm and one leg pointed back. She did it perfectly (without bias parent opinion) Lord only knows what she wll be capable of when she is 10, or evn 4 for that matter.

...well I did warn you.

They all got a trophy for passing thier first exam. Grace wanted to sleep next to it last night!

one unfortunate thing about ballet is the whole fairy magic theme is like impossible to avoid, but it has become a bit of a teaching point. Grace now understand we dont need to do magic, God can do miracles and we must pray not try and do things in our own strength or with the help of any magic etc. I didn't really want to expose her to magic type stuff, especially becasue it is hard to teach about one thing that is real that you can't see and say another thing you cant see is pretend. Cant shelter them forever i guess. But the dancing is cute!...

A new look

2009-07-14T23:32:00.006+08:00

So it seems i feel like a change all round- i am(pretty close but not quite) brunette for the first time in my life... with a much more layered style to go with the new colour.

If you have been to my blog before you would be able to tell that it too has had a thorough and thoroughly overdue make over too, thanks to my beautiful(and highly talented) friend Carly. Oh...I have my own button now! yay! You can grab it from the column on the right.THANKS A BILLION Carly, i had fun hanging out at your house, Riv is such a cutie, and i cant believe how self sufficient Scarlett is, I so need to teach Grace to make her own sandwich :) nah scratch that, she would never stop eating!

Grace has a had a haircut too, and has spent the last 2 days checking herself out in the mirror! photos to come soon...

Not Me Monday!

2009-07-06T19:41:00.010+08:00

In the true spirit of not me monday confessions, this week i shall be brutally ~~dis~~honest...

It was not me who ate 2 minute noodles for dinner and nachos for lunch and still wondered why my jeans dont fit... I am on top of my health and only eat healthy, low fat and sugar meals. I would not be so slack and at the mercy of the "i fell like it" when considering meal options...nope not me!

I do not have 4 loads of washing sorted into colours on my laundry floor, i would not be so behind in my daily duties... nor would i have allowed my husbands car licence registration lapse and bee 2 weeks overdue... i hope the irony of him driving to the police academy in an unlicenced vehicle is not lost on all who read this, but possibly to those he works for!

I was not slightly annoyed at my poor husband who was sick and in bed for 3 days because he had the flu because when i get the flu i dont get to stay in bed for 3 days,or even 1. Nope, not me! I am much more loving and understanding than that, and i certainly would not have encouraged him to take stronger medincations in the hopes he would feel better and be able to help me... no way, i would encourage him to rest, make rediculously good chicken soup and bring him tea and cool cloths for his forehead..... ~~YEAH RIGHT~~!

I was not a bit proud when my 3 year old started reading words this week, i am not one of those mothers that pushes their children to gain unnatural levels of ability for theier age (i am really not) so i wouldn't be slightly excited that she might be able to really read before she is 4! Not me!

And of all things superficial, i would not have set up a please comment post and been a bit disappointed that i only got 1 comment (thanks Jillian)... nope i would not care about such silly things! Not ME!

NOt me monday is a blog carnival started by MCKmama, head over to her blog to see what she and others have not been doing...

Will you kindly?

2009-07-04T14:06:00.005+08:00

calling all lurkers- i know you are out there, unless those traffic thingos just make up random traffic stats... satisfy my curiousity, i would love to know who is reading my blog from all these faraway places(and close ones). If you happen to stop by, leave a comment...this post and anytime...and if you have a blog, make sure to leave a link so i can check yours out too.
yay,
looking forward to hearing from you...

End of term

2009-07-02T00:39:00.004+08:00

We are coming to the end of this term of Pyro ( our youth group). This term has seen our group that used to be all of about 20 on a big night, (and by used to I mean last term) hit the 50 and beyond point. - (sidenote my constable conradt/pastor Duncan in the forground there)

I am so not about numbers as such but if those numbers reflect more young people hearing the word of God, and having good time growing in thier relationship with him, then bring on the bigger numbers! A big part of the growth has been kids that have never even ben to church before, from our churches alternative education program, the highschool we serve in and our youth bringing frends from school etc.

I blog alot about family and work, possibly because my friday to sunday are pretty much consumed by ministry time so I dont blog on those days, and the other days are more work and family days, when I do get a chance to blog.

Well just wanted to put in some pics from the other side of life, coz really its what it is all about, life I mean. Serving in the house of God gives everything else so much more meaning, also I am just so excited about what God is doing.

These are from 2 weeks ago, we had a "hot winters night" theme which was a hit an I managed to remember to take some photos...

mmmm hot chocolate and roasted marshmallows

Career Move

2009-07-01T01:41:00.004+08:00

and this time its not me... although now in addition to being a youth pastors wife i am a police wife, which i am quickly finding is like its own little club. So our kids are not only pks (pastors kids) but cops kids too. I dunno if this makes him Constable Pastor Duncan or Pastor Constable Conradt. so far so good, seeing as he is still doing the training, and very good when it comes to the uniform, there is something Quite interesting about a policeman getting dressed/undressed in my bedroom ;) i dunno about two of us doing shift work but here goes, we will see how it pans out!
I would post a picture but he has issues with internet pictures in the uniform or something, so I guess I can keep him all to myself...

not me monday- it's Jaeda here again

2009-06-29T14:26:00.006+08:00

hi, i am nearly 2 year old Jaeda otherwise known as the animal of the family...i have confessed here once before... seems like there are lots of things i DONT do!

This week i did make my (twice as old and twice as big) sister cry on more than 3 occasions using brute force, not me!

I would never do something chronically embarrassing like throw the weeks biggest temper tantrum at the feet of the national director of "Growing Kids God Way". No way, mum had just finished telling her how great the course was and how she would love to facilitate a group . Such poorly timed bad behaviour would never be me!

We went swimming twice this week as the bad weather meant daddy had time off work, and the indoor pools are heated , and I most certainly did not (with absolutely no history of doing number twos in the water) decide to 'go' in the water twice. And i definately did not witnes my own mother pretending to swim while discretly ushering an excaped 'foreign object' into the filter skimmer.. nope not me, and not MY mummy!

I did learn about 400 new words this week, busting out hot,(ho...tttt), cold, warm,rain,(rayyy) mess, car, doggy, cat, meow, bed, yummy, yucky, hat, shoe, sock, tummy, head, hair,ear, nose, mouth play,(pway) draw, drink, nappy(nabby), poopoo, weewee, and the one we have all been waiting for GRACE! oh and in a triumph of my mothers parenting skills, Dora(Dorora) as in Dora the explorer from the TV amoung other words

Hope you enjoyed my not me's, hopefully mummy will be back next week to do hers, but in the mean time lots of other grown ups and mummys have posted theirs over on Mckmamas blog. Go check it out!

Not me (im not in denial) monday

2009-06-16T00:14:00.006+08:00

No, No, No i most definately could not
have TWO children sleeping in beds (no cribs or cots). Not me.

History did not just repeat it self when my 21 month
old climbed over the railing of her crib and therefor was
relegated to a mattress sleeping on the floor until we could get her a 'big girl bed'...

Nope! We have not seen this scene before...
at just the same age!

Come to think of it there is no way this little baby of the family can tell me "no, dora mummy", with perfect dictation when she wants to watch Dora instead of playschool. Nor could she tell me with perfectly clear words a number of animals, body parts, foods, names and various other items. Nope she is the baby of the family. (ha! dont you love that picture, i am sure J wont in times to come but it really shows how HUGE she was and her little drop lip is hilarious! and so her! This picture is the from hour she was born, i know she looks like a 6 month old, thats coz she was the size of one...ok slight exageration...only slight though !)

No WAY did I enrol this baby at school for next year...

Not a chance, there is no way she is old enough to be going
to school next year. For that matter, there is NO WAY I am old enough to have a school attending child. Nope not me, oh and i am definately not in denial. Nope, not me!

As you can see i definately have not given in to letting my children A. go to sleep both in Graces bed, B. continue sucking their favoured extremities. Grace only does it in her sleep now and if i try pull it out she wakes up.might have to get some of that bad tasting finger paint...one day.

Not me monday was started by Mckmama. Check out what she and others have not been doing.

Perspective

2009-05-23T21:27:00.004+08:00

The words of a 9 year old from Uganda resounded with the perspective and wisdom that western children/teenagers/young adults and even some mature adults lack. At 9, having endured a horrific life of neglect, hunger, poverty and sickness he had a clear vison for his life and declared that he was blessed and God loved him... how is it that this little boy with nothing feels so amazingly blessed to have been taken in and have a bottom bunk bed to share in a room with four other boys, living with little more than the basics of life, and young people here in Australia struggle with self pity and depression and are so melancholic because in thier abundance ,all is not as they wish it were. Dont get me wrong i know life isnt perfect and some people here endure tragic circumstances, but many don't. They complain because daddy didnt buy them a car even though their brother got one, they complain because they cant eat out this week, they complain because their parents are a bit strict or they have too much home work, and deal with it like thier life is over, some are depressed because they dont know what they want to do with thier life, without realising the massive blessing that choice is.
I have complained because i cant afford to buy a rug that matches my lounge decor or because i dont get my hair cut as often as i should. WHAT?!?

i read somewhere that you will never be happy with what you have until you stop wanting things you dont have.
How free these children seemed, to be satisfied just to have their basic needs met and to have hope of a future.

thats all
www.watoto.com

The end of an era... for now

2009-05-20T00:26:00.004+08:00

Me- on night shift stating at 10pm, foolishly stating i was going to just chill out tonight until i had to go to work, made plans to run a bath, watch NCIS and each chocolate.
6pm, kids feed, bathed and J in bed, complete with recently purchased bonds easy suit that 'should' dare i say it prevent any more hands in the nappy debarcles, but thats a post and a picture for another day.

610 banging noise. J has reached out of cot to the shelf to get a picture frame and is banging on the wall...odd that frame was quite far away from her. take frame, lights out, reading with grace.

620 *thud* long silence, inhaling scream and crying. J on the floor between cot and clothes drawers.

625 j settled, put in cot to see if it was a fluke
626 catch j on the downfall.

627 remove cot, set up mattress on the floor...

proceed to spend the next 2 hours willing a 20 month old to stay in the bed. yeah right!

She stays while i am in the room, as soon as we leave she gets toys, does streaker type runs through the house, climbs in her sisters bed, well you catch my drift. Grace did the same thing at virtually the same age, accept then we just moved the cot to the babys room and were glad we didnt have to take it from her. now there is no baby, so i dont know what to do with the cot. Nor do i know how to avoid nightly bed battles, other than resorting to closing the safety gate and letting her fall asleep behind the door like her sister did... i guess Grace survived it.

not me monday- a biggy

2009-05-19T00:32:00.004+08:00

So just a few little things....i need to (not) confess... this past few weeks have been a little crazy and seeing as i am great at time management and boundaries and all those things, this blog due to said event either.
matter of fact i would not have made bill payments a little late because i didnt have time to bpay them, nor would i have left my husband without clean underwear on one occasion and no clean socks on two, and well i would never have forgotten my daughters ballet class two weeks in a row. NOT ME!

While i am at it, i would not ever, while trying to wisely manage our finances and save for the tough times coming while D trains to be a police officer, have allowed him to buy me a ludicrously expensive gown for said event seeing as i would not be silly enough to even consider hosting it!

I did not book the hall and caterers and then leave all other arrangements to the last minute, nor did i neglect to find out from hall management where the restroom light switches where, therefore having to convince our much obliging guests that peeing in the candlelight was part of the ambiance of the event.

I wasn't late to open up the hall for the DJ leaving him a little stressed out in the final minutes before doors opened and i did NOT take the largest slice of chocolate cake from the dessert buffet before anyone else got one!
i wasn't late for my work meeting this morning due to the hire trees being picked up and i did not return table cloths to the company with table litter still wrapped up in them!

Multitasking mishaps and misadventures- a not me monday post

2009-05-04T23:30:00.005+08:00

Multi tasking is a womans skill, I know that much. My husband can cook, but only if it is all in one pot, like a casserole or something, because he cant seem to manage 2 things at the same time. One always burns or gets cold while the other cooks, and dont even start to think about 3 things at once. Lucky for him he does other stuff pretty well and has plenty of redeeming talents so I can forgive him for not being able to cook.

I know pastors multi task- because pastoral care is a job that is round the clock. You dont stop being concerned or praying or recieveing calls becasue it is 5pm or 3 am for that matter, not to mention pastors are often administrators, accountants, fundraisers, cleaners and event managers, particularly in a small church.

And I am fast learning that youth workers are multitaskers too, at least Iknow youth accomodation workers are. At any one time we are cook,cleaner,parent,authority,friend,administrator,organiser and mediator among other things.

I wont even start with multitasking mamas roles.

So i guess my point here is that to be all of these at one time involves considerable multitasking, at times not managed as well as possible...

Seeing as i am woman and therefore absolutely skilled muti tasker of course i would not have done youth group rosters and programming while at work at the hostel, I have not considered what i was going to present at team meeting for the hostel while playing with my children and I am sure I did not talk about my children a bit too much while runnning youth group.

I did not take my work keys and personal alarm which all the workers need at work, home with me, nor did i forget my work key and have to call the office staff to come and open the hostel for me...twice. For that matter i did not leave my house keys inside the church once and take the church key home, or loose the church key and start condering how much it was going to cost to replace before locating said key in my baby bag.

I did not talk about work all night at church ladies meeting tonight and church all day at work meeting this morning, I would never answer my mobile "joon.dalup y.outh sup.port servic.e, tara speaking", or speak to the group of 15-19 year olds in the house in a way that very closly resembles a 1 1/2 year old and a 3 year old getting told off.

I most definately did not half do a post so i could link early in mckmamas blog, And i was not kind of busy so i didnt see the new post up for all of 12 minutes and i wasnt just a little disappointed to be only 97th on the list... nor did i do it so quick i made a typo in my link!

oh and i am soooooo not writing this while at work!

my story- nothing new just a relocation

2009-04-28T20:00:00.003+08:00

The following used to be my about me, but i am moving it to a post that i will have a link to, but i dont want it to be the first and foremost thing. Yes it is my past but it is not who i am. Yes I have lost two too many people to suicide but i will not call myself a suicide survivor becasue i am more than a suicide survivor. I am standing in the truth about who i am in Christ Jesus, shaped by the events of my past but not shaken, and formed only by his hand and in his truth.
I guess this is a step of definence, against what the enemy would have me believe and settle for, into the truth and light of Gods will. Also I would like to invite some of my family and friends to this blog and i dont want it to be a place of hurt or people feeling guilty for anything that happened or they didnt do.

I would have called this blog "a post in the life of..."but i couldn't figure out how to finish, no one thing defines me... I am wife & mother of two precious little girls.I am a youth pastor among other things in church & a youth worker, working nights part time with homeless young people. I would like to say all these good things were the only things that define me but there is the other things. Of 6 children my mother carried, two of us were born breathing.I grew up, not unloved, but equally, in an environment of bipolar disorder, depression,alcoholism, drug use and suicide all of which i was very aware of from a young age. My brother took his own life on Fathers day 2008, which was my 23rd birthday too, He was 19. I lost my Nannan(mum's mother) when I was 11 to suicide also. I often wonder what the end of this story would have looked like if it didnt look like this.........

At 16 a revelation of Gods truth and freedom saved my life, now i live for Him. I owe him my eternity coz of what He did on the cross and I own him my life because I would not have made it had He not met me where I was at sitting in the back of a church, hung over and coming down, waiting for my free skate at their skatepark.

A catch up post

2009-04-21T00:54:00.005+08:00

I have been meaning to post for about 2 weeks and there has been so many athings to post about but just not enough time, so now i am going to play catch up and post a little from/about each thing.

Life has been very blessed in the Conradt household lately. Dont get me wrong, not all roses or anything, Gods grace has just been all over everything, you know?

Grace has been loving her ballet lessons, and even though she wont show us what she is learning i have caught glimpses of her walking with toes pointed forward, and practicing controlled breathing. Oh and i find it highly amusing trying to put her whole like 8 strands of hair in a little bun :)

We have been SOOOOOO blessed by the course we are doing- Growing Kids Gods Way. It is the same as the books babywise/childwise that I read and doing the course and the group support has been so positive in reinforcing my commitment to doing the best I can for our kids. I am so loving the boundaries and the respect and honour that it instills in the kids.The structure in our dayand limits to her social freedoms have all but cured J's little (more like chronic) biting habit, just have a peak at how well te girls are getting along now...

Don't be fooled though, they still try and push it. Jaeda's new battleground is holding out on saying 'ta'. She has missed out on dinner once, and now it only takes me reaching to take which ever non-appreciated item it is from her and she will say 'TA' or sign 'please' like crazy. I wonder how long before she quits trying it...Ah the joys of discovering we have a will.

We have just started a star chart which Grace gets for leaving 'blanky' on her bed. Once blanky is making absolutly no day time appearences we will start with night times. It is time for the blanky and by default the thumb sucking to go. I feel a bit sad for my big girl though, she really loves that thing. I mean she hugs it and says bye when she leaves the house and hugs it when she gets home... I know! my kid is a little cuckoo but what 3 year old isn't in some way? I would let her keep it until she was 40 accept it triggers the thumb sucking and i said 3 was where i would draw the line on that... I have even gone past that because i feel so sad taking her lovey away but she is going to ruin her teeth! Good thing Jaeda's fingers are getting too big to be comfortable to suck so i am hoping her little habit will resolve itself.

I have to say the behavior has actually been very good when you consider the copious amounts of chocolate that have been in abundance in our house lately, mostly thanks to easter but also thanks to Carly... you so didn't have to share, but thanks a heap anyway, saved me eating my kids easter chocolate :)

One thing i was going to post on was Good Friday. A lovely lady from our church (known to my kids as Mrs Kho, as titles are one of the respect for elders principles we have been talking about in growing kids but more on that later) invited some children from church to her house for a morning tea. With help from her eldest daughter, the kids participated in a 'surprise' easter story where they each choose a couloured egg from the carton which contained a symbol such as bread, a rock, coins, a cross etc which represented elements of the easter story, they talked about it all, then went on a clue hunt to find bits to make a craft which turned out to be an easter memory verse on a 'scroll' and then did a egg hunt. t was such a beatiful morning and all the kids ages 3- 13 were involved and had a great time. I wish i had taken photos but i was so absorbed in watching the kids learning and have so much fun i forgot.
Grace didnt forget she had stashed an egg from the hunt in her bag and silently got into on the car trip home, at the end of which i found her like this...

And lastly, a little testimony of God at work in little ways...
On Tueday last week I was lying awake considering(as i often do) all the things God has spoken to me about- through prayer, prophetic words from people and his word. One thing, at least at one point, i was sure was one of the things i was called to was preaching the word. When i first moved to my husbands church just before getting married I was asked to speak a few times and did the main message once, and then nothing- like from god or church. When i would get asked to speak previously usually God had been stirring up a word in me for a few days so i often new it was coming... but nothing for a while, until tuesday, i was thinking, Lord is that something that was for then (as then myself and my husband were running our youth group virtually single (couple?) handledly so i had to preach at least every second week. So Wednesday, I get the call, can you speak on communion on Sunday... sure- the bible says to be prepared in season and out of season so I will never say no. Lord i will take it that it is not something you want me to let go of entirely just yet. So anyway i pray and get this scripture and work my whole message from the scripture. Sunday comes i give the message and totally forget to give the scripture- reading or reference, don't even realise. i sit down and Ps pete starts his message which ties in beautifully with the worship songs and the communion message and roughly halfway though, ps pete quotes this scripture his word just reminded him of but cant remember the reference- so i read it from the top of my communion message notes. The exact "forgotten" scripture, Col 1:15. GOD is Good, not that it was super important that the scripture was shared because the heart of it was already, but God in all His greatness and wonder, cared enough to show me that He was still going to use me to share His message by confirming to me that i was hearing from Him.

Night shift ramblings

2009-04-07T23:51:00.008+08:00

So here I am, on my red eye shifts again, with a little more than a bit of time on my hands, so i am free to write a little about my week. Let me tell you (if anyone is actually reading this), denial and avoidance have served me well over the past few days.
Our hopes of buying our own house were all but quashed in the same week that Grandpa passed away. Did i mention the funeral happened to land on what would have been my brothers 20th birthday, our first without him. oh and it was held at the same memorial park his was. Needless to say i couldn't go. Should i have... yes, did i want to say a final goodbye to Grandpa, yes. Would i have curled up in a fetal position before leaving the car to go inside and stayed there for hours, possibly weeks if i tried to go back - who knows how function at times like these, but i couldn't risk it.

My mum and Dad got tattoos to mark his birthday, i probably would have too accept our pastors aren't too keen on tattoos and i am all for respecting the authority God has placed over us.
My dad got Joe(he is really not a complicated man) and my mum along with a picture she designed with various elements that are representative to her, got the words. 'i love you son, see you tomorrow'. Before you suggest i send out the suicide watch, she said that at his funeral too, i think like me, it is easier to pretend he is just being a little more anti social than usual and we are bound to see him soon than face reality.

So in this week of low points there were a few highlights too, Duncan finally got his confirmation letter for the start of his police academy training in July.

Youth group and Church are off the Richter - we have without exageration doubled in one term (youth that is) and it is all people that have never been in church before, not just collecting extra floaters from other churches,commenly referred to by my old youth pastor as 'sheep stealing' :).

The GKGW course is doing wonders with the kids, we are currently teaching grace the interupt courtesy and respect for elders. Jaeda is all but a new child since adding more structure and boundaries to her day, oh and did i mention my only just 3 year old used the word Incredible in a sentence, in context this week. Last week it was 'enourmous'.

We have the morning tea tomorrow at the Barnardos Mother of the year Awards. I nominated Carly back in January and she has made top 3 in the state. We find out tomorow if we fly to Sydney for the nationals.

Check out this online mag if you havn't already. It has heaps of sweet christian content, blog directory and they support heaps of charities and ministries with free add space. It had over 1 million hits on its last issue, if you weren't one of 'em you must check it out. if you were i know will be keen to check out the new issue. Oh and one of my photo's of esperance is in there :)

Missed the boat again

2009-04-02T13:58:00.005+08:00

Before i start, yes this is only about a buying a house, and i know us and our kids are healthy and currently we have a beautiful place to live, even if it is a rental, God is good and we both have work unlike alot of people right now, so i do have perspective and i also know God has saved us from buying at the wrong time before and he provides all we need, i know...i know, but i cant help being really frustrated... this is why

So we have been married just over 4 years and have moved house 5 times, mostly due to renting, landlord selling etc, and the last few weeks we have been looking into finally buying our own home(again).

This started actually just after we got married, we tried to get a home loan but as Duncan had only jut got his qualification they wanted at least 6 months to a year work history first...so the plans went on hold. so we moved fom our apartment to a house to accomodate our growing family.
By the time the work history was not an issue we tried again but house prices were rising and we were told our income would need to be much more. and we would need a deposit so we moved in with duncans parents to save.
So Duncan worked harder and made more 6 months passed and we applied again, but house prices were on the up again, as well as interest rates and we were told we needed 2 incomes- good luck i was like 9 months pregnant, and we could not fit as a 4 person family in their back room so we rented again and moved again.
Then the landlord decided to sell just as our lease was up so we looked into the shared equity scheme our friends had just signed up to. My brother passed away and it took a week or two for me to get around to calling, finally i did only to be told, im sorry, the govenment as exceeded the budget for that scheme and it is no longer available. so we moved again, to another rental.

and here we are about 6 months later. house prices are down, interest rates are way down, market is good and i have a job now too... great time to buy right, so i call the mortgage brokers. "Sorry there are new restrictions and banks are no longer doing 100% loans, one or two do 95% so at best you will have to have a minimum of about 20000 deposit , plus fees and mli to get any kind of loan" oh when did this happen because my brother in law got a loan like 3 days ago... "oh yeah its only from this week this has happened"

i am not going to write any more because if i do it will possibly contain a swear word.

grandpa's gone home

2009-04-01T10:50:00.010+08:00

Last night Duncan's grandpa, the girls great grandpa (aka rararandpa) went home to Jesus. For all of the family it is sad today but also a relief as well, since he had a stroke earlier this year life was not how he would have wanted it, and although he couldn't communicate, we could understand that he did not want to be in the position he was, i always found it hard to visit, to see such a proud and independent man like that.

Grandpa adored the girls, his only great grandchildren so far, and i am so glad they got the time with him, i wonder if grace will remember him in years to come? We lived with Duncan's parents and grandpa for a time when grace was between 12 and 18 months, she loved the extra company of grandpa around all day- not to mention begging for a taste of his eggs at breakfast everyday.

When Grandpa had the stroke i regretted not asking him to write something for the girls later in life, He had so much life experience and wisdom gained, loved God and loved them dearly. I hope to get the other greats to do it and i will put it together in a book called grandpa's letters. They have so much family history, experience and knowledge to share. I would love to see other people to do it to, especially new parents whose parents are a lot older, with parenthood being delayed to later in life i think a lot of teenage/young adults no longer have all their grandparents around, yet they are such a valuable input for values and knowledge.

Grandpa loved the pipes- this was at his 90th birthday recently....

As for Grandpa, my girls may not really remember him when they are older but i know they will benifit from all the things he taught their Dad. When his Dad wasn't there for Him, Grandpa was, and there are plenty of beautiful things he does as a father that he remembers Grandpa doing with him and his brother, not to mention his legacy of prayer and walking with God that will remain for generations to come.

The longest day

2009-03-25T01:27:00.003+09:00

I am somewhere near the middle of a 72 hour day in which i manage to get a few 1-2hr naps but no real sleep. This is because in the day time i am in charge of two small children and in the night i am in charge or 6 'at risk' young people. Good for me the small ones nap so i can steal some sleep during thier nap times. Ah the joys of shift work as a mother. still better than having someone else raise my shildren in a day care centre in my opinion (not that i am against it totally, the girls go one day a week so i can do ministry stuff, and for thier own developmental benifit but i hate the thought of someone else being the one to teach the what from what and right from wrong, what if their values are different and even if they were i dont think anyone can really have the authority to instill a high moral standard in children but thier immediate family. sure others can reinforce and influence but the early year are so formative.
Oh and i am not so nieve(sp?) to think that everyone has a choice, i know sometimes it is unavoidable, praise God for the provision of a job where i am able to work full time and still spend almost all of my childrens awake time with them. I know this is not always possible. If your child is in a care situation for a lot of hours a week, pray that their teachers would be likeminded and pray over your children that God will guard thier hearts from the wrong influence, behaviourally, spiritually or morally.

Well seeing as i am rambling and possibly overly opinionated at this hour of the who knows what, i shall go sugar soap some walls or sort something to keep myself awake.

My brave little girl

2009-03-19T15:26:00.006+09:00

I thought i would treat the girls to a day out (well a morning anyway) so i took them to a play centre near here.

I ran into a friend there and all was good, until grace was playing chasey with some kids in the playgym and tripped. I knew it wasnt good, so i grabbed j with one arm and grace with the other and the look on the parents faces sitting down said it all. Im not sure if they were horrified coz i was rholding J by one arm letting her feet just touch the ground to get to a place where i could see, or if they were horrified because of the sheer amound of blood on my other child.
Either way, J was fine so i am not to worried about those parents, but Grace was far from fine.

She had managed to faceplant the ledge just a bit higher than a regular step that was perfectly distanced from her when she fell and who-knows-how but ended up with a 2cm split in her top lip

Some ice, a nap, baby nurofen and hi 5 later she is Ok now, but i think that when it really hurt everyone was saying "You are so brave, your such a brave girl" now she thinks brave means IN A LOT OF PAIN. When it hurts a lot she seems to get real sad looking and says 'im so brave mummy im so brave. and after i gave her the icy she says, its ok im not brave anymore...

the cutest thin is the only thing she was sad about the whole way home is that she didnt get to say bye to the little grls she was playing with. She said " i want to play with her next time, she's a beautiful girl is she mummy" (she means isnt she). im a bit sad that i never saw her little friend. Grace very rarely calls someone her friend, let alone someone she just met.

Making the Most of it...

2009-03-12T13:14:00.007+09:00

There are some advantages to Dad having the odd day off work....

He also got to witness this new development...

now we are off to see the mega outdoor art display at Cottesloe beach, that will be if these girls go to sleep, they have been playing in their beds for a while now... time to divide and conquere.

Jaeda- lye down
Grace- out of shared room, sleep in spare room
Mum- out comes the babywise/toddlerwise/preschool wise books! now sleep section... where is that

He is my provider

2009-03-07T22:26:00.005+09:00

My husband and I believe that God requires of us that al areas of our lives are submitted to Him to allow Him to work freely in them and we strongly believe (and have experienced) that when we submit our finances to Him, through tithing and being obedient in where He guides us to sow, he provides and blesses us.

Back in my new christian days our church had a one off 'first fruits' offering which was 1 weeks wages equivelent. i felt that although i only worked a few hours a week and altough i really needed more income at the time, God was calling me allow Him to be in control of my finances. So i putin my first fruits and the next night I had a shift at work. The rosters had changed and i had extra shifts tha meant every week i had what i had put in that offering extra, down to the cent. God had multiplied my offering 52fold, as i then made that amount extra every week.

t's no secret that times are tough, particulary for those in the building and construction trade. They dont loose their job and get a severence package, and virtually every one in the industy is effected in a slow down. The rates drop, the hours drop and the work dries up, so the wage that has been supporting our family has halved lately.

So i prayed and put out a facebook status and wihin a week i had a casual job, and now two weeks into it i have ben offered and have accepted a permanent postition.

It is evenings and nights and it works out to only a few hours away from the girls each week, nad those hours can be with thier Daddy, itis great work and because of the field comes with other financial govenment tax cuts and things. All in all it is too perfect to not be the divine prvision of a loving God!

Pictorial Not Me Monday

2009-03-02T19:11:00.008+09:00

I did not do lots of slightly crazy things this week, but most recently I did not make my child pretend to dance like a ballerina in her book so i could get rediculously cute pictures of her in her new dancing costume... nope...

not me...
I did not randomly teach myself to make balloon animals for my own amusement at her birthday party...

and I did not put off baking until it was necessary for me to make cupcakes at midnight... but if i did they would have turned out like this
I did not have a nervous breakdown in the car on the way to the park we were having the party at because fishpond sized rain drops started falling on my windscreen even though the sky looked like this 5 minutes later...

AND i didnt forget half the food and make my most obliging husband go back home to get it...

Or have another nervous breakdown because one particularly selfish family had unneccesarily spread their belongings under the only two gazebos at the park. Nope not me, i would not be upset over silly little thigs like that!

And one for the birthday girl... HI I AM GRACE AND I AM 3, and I did not start out super grumpy at my party,

monopolise peoples attention then cheer up and then announce to the rest of the world my sister was the stroppy one...

Well she was, but not me.

And I did not run out of space on my doodlebear that nan got for my birthday, and when really wanting to stencil a flower on i did not resort to putting it on it's bottom, and Im sure my Mama would have been far to mature to take this photo...
This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I saw him today, he smiled and waved "Hi"

2009-02-28T20:07:00.005+09:00

Today grace insisted on watching the "married one", or in english, our wedding dvd. Why not I thought, and she loved it. I don't watch it much, too many people i wish i still was in contact with or could see without getting on a plane, reminds me of what i have left behind as things change and who i miss, now i think i might never watch it again.
We were so blessed to have a friend who was a professional wedding videographer so we had footage at out ceremony and at our reception. My camera shy (not so)little brother seemed to avoid the camera at the ceremony, but the footage at the reception begins with a shot at each table going around and everyone waving and smiling, finishing with my family table, and there, last, with the longest awkward shot(everything he did seemed a little awkward) ... Looking right into the camera, he smiled and waved.

So now i should be posting super cute photos of grace getting her ballet gear, but i cant, and i should be baking cupcakes and cleaning up and making party food but i cant do that either.
I sit with what feels like a physical weight on my chest searching the internet for other survivor blogs, writing and waiting for denial and business to take over again...

For my frinds who read this, don't worry, I will be fine and i will probably get around to doing all those things I need to do later, but right now i will find rest in the place i know there is peace, with a worship Cd and the healing, restoring word of God.

Why are good memories the ones that hurt most?

big girl birthday

2009-02-28T00:41:00.011+09:00

Yesterday i was 2...

i painted 2 year old pictures

and sat for 2 year old photos...

TODAY i am 3...
i get a bike

and a helmet

and i get to be a ballerina (more) pics on that tomorrow!
I get visitors too like my Nan and Pop...

and lots of phone calls aswell!
I like being 3!

Happy big girl birthday miss grace, you are so grown up, i am hardly shocked you are 3, maybe a little shocked that you are only 3! Your baby strong will has developed into a strength of character and your one track focus has developed into a perseverence and patience so unusual for your age. Your kind words and sweet little manners make my day.
Love you lots,
mummy

p.s i would have posted a cute little baby pic here but i havnt been able to get them onto my new computer yet!

One Last Day...

2009-02-26T11:35:00.004+09:00

Today i savour my last few moments raising a 2 year old and a one year old. Tomorrow i will have a 3 year old and a one year old. The girls are sleeping now as we had a walk and bought some treats, and this afternoon i plan to take some pics of my soon to be big girl. It is so much fun now that she knows what is going on, but she may be a little overly focused on her present this year. the birthday conversation usually goes like this

ANYONE- So Grace it is your birthday soon?
Grace- I am getting a bike and a helmet
ANYONE- So how old are you going to be Grace?
Grace- A pink bike!

at the shops
Grace- what are you getting Daddy?
Daddy- A newspaper
Grace- Can i look in the pages to find my bike?
(newspapers and catalogues are on equal terms in the mind of a nearly 3 year old i guess but how she knows to look for bikes in there i will never know!)

bit of a one track mind, lucky for her she is getting a bike!

She is getting ballet lessons from Granny, and she knows all about that too. she say big girls who are 3 get to be ballerinas. Cant wait to post pics of her getting her little oufit on Saturday.

On another front, i may have a new job opportunity on the horizon, but i will post more on that if anything comes of it.

i told you so!

2009-02-23T21:02:00.005+09:00

When i was somewhere roundabout 16 (and keep in mind this is pre digital cameras, facebook and all that so most people only had photos of family and special occasions!) i made a friend of mine have some photos with me... specifically, and i told her this on that day, because one day she would be SUPER famous and i would have to have a photo of us to prove we were friends, i should have got some when we were both on stage together but that would have been lame, right... anyway this is a pic of a pic seeing as again no digital, these are in my scrapbook from before i was married. (the small circle in the middle)

Well if you happen to watch So You Think You Can Dance Australia tonight, you would have witnessed the talent of said girl in the photo. Yep, i have to say my prediction nearly 10 years ago was officially fulfilled when Cassie Davis was the feature act on SYTYCD.
Congrats Cas!

Not me Monday, this time it wasn't ME

2009-02-23T13:32:00.004+09:00

this week i did not do alot of things, including the following.

I did not go to a 'what i wanted be when i grew up' theme party dressed as a bride, AND i was not 1 1/2 hours late, which would have resulted in my having to park 1 mile away and walk down a busy main road in the suburbs alone, dressed as a bride... and i did not get hooted at more than once.
I did not sit down only to get a phone call from husband asking me to come home from said party because G was sick.

I had not worked the whole day earlier, left the kids with daddy and forgotten to stress that when going to the beach on a HOT day children need lots of water.

I did not sleep on the couch and allow my sick child to sleep on her flip out sofa on the tiles to avoid cleaning puke off carpet, and i most definately did not have any panic attacks as a result of mere coughing from any children.

i am not afraid of a bit of puke, nope not me...

oh and i was not 2 hours late to one event which resulted in me being an hour early for the following event, and i did not allow people to think i had specially come early and join in the prayer meeting to carry it off.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

log book entries of a crisis accomodation worker

2009-02-19T08:44:00.006+09:00

I did my first Solo shift at an agency that houses young people at risk of becoming homeless/ in crisis. Just to give you an idea of how it went here is a few excerpts from the log book at work... with what i did write(roughly and with names omited) and what i wanted to write...

3:30 Tara in- handover commences

3:35 Phone call from * needs accomodation oh snap that means i have to do an admission on my first shift, so much for that box of snacks i brought.

3:37 House meeting notes located. Have just realised tonight is house meeting night which means i have to make the young people stay in, which is hard at best of times, new young people in the house means they are not going to know this so now i have to ruin their plans... i am not going to be popular
...
4:30 At door, **** In, appears to be upset and was verbally aggressive. Appears to want to kill someone, at some point i have to inform * cannot go out tonight... *o*
...
6:30 **** arrives unannounced for admission interview- aghh, have just finished dinner and I asked they call to tell me a time of arrival so i can track down forms and stuff and look semi professional- proceed to rummage frantically through draws to find paper work- unsure whether to admit that it is my first solo shift
(The next few are while trying to conduct the interview)
631 **** in -hope is in a better mood!
632 **** out - phew
633 Phone call from* - shouldnt have answerered
634 **** to office for meds - anti anxiety- worker considering for a split second getting prescription for some too ;)
635 **** out - Worker doing a little dance on the inside
636**** s partner arrives outside in car... well you get the idea now
...
935 * next shiftworker at door, cant come to shift due to fire near house, couldn't get through on phone as line been busy all afternoon - i know all about that line being busy, as i have to answer it all, still i have 25 minutes to find another worker, who may or may not live up to 45 minutes away.
9:37 phone call from **** at ****agency for background on ex reisident, check register and cannot find file, worker will call another agency. Thank the Lord, when i call other agencies from now on i will ask if the worker is available to talk or if, say, Chaos has erupted and it is his/her first shift...
...
10:45 Tara out- Made it out alive, with all my drinks, snacks and reading material untouched and looking forward to the next shift

not me monday- with a twist

2009-02-16T22:04:00.007+09:00

hi i AM J, and i AM 1.

Today i did not get my leg stuck in my cot bars while playing instead of napping, then stick it back in after being rescued to avoid napping some more...

nope i am the an angel...

I did not stuff so much food in my mouth i had to push the last bit in and hold it in

Nope i am the angel

I did not start out perfect in my room time only to pull a huge toy off a shelf and spend the following 25 minutes having a sook instead of developing my independent play skills

Nope i am an angel

I did not hit my sister about 12 times through out the day and get her in trouble for dobbing..
nope and i most definately did not bite my mummy while she was giving me a cuddle and draw blood.
Or refuse to eat any of my dinner,

but then raid all my sisters dinner

I really am an angel

and to top it off i did not make Goo Goo eyes and get all daddies attention when he got home...

Nope i am the angel baby

"not me monday" started in blog land with te original not me post by Mckmama

Who am i

2009-02-14T08:46:00.005+09:00

Yesterday I was a mummy, at least until 9am, then I was a housekeeper/wife for a little bit while i cleaned, organised and shopped. Then a youth worker for while i went to the office to sort out my shifts, then a friend/relationship counselor at noon. then on to be a youth pastor for a couple of hours, at which point i become and administrator, teacher, general labourer and water baloon extrodinaire. By now it was 3 and i returned to being a mummy (chef, nurse, teacher, peacekeeper and entertainer) get them all to bed by 630 and return to youth pastor role, at least this week i am not preacher also. 930 become cleaner and bouncer among other things. 1030 i am nothing but finished.
At least Yeasterday i had no time to be a procrastinator, couch potato or time waster, or mourner

Ups and Downs

2009-02-12T13:08:00.010+09:00

Daddy is at home with us today. The work situation is not lookin good. Praise God he is starting with the police in July but i think it may be a rocky road until then... throws a bit of a spanner in the works of our routine too but thats cool, coz the girls love thier Daddy time. The room time went really well with both girls today, grace went from crying the whole half hour nearly to really enjoying her time to herself today setting up a little doll shop and clothes without being raided by the toddler tornado she calls her sister.
Jaeda was a little unimpressed at first but enjoyed her blocks and stacking cups while G painted in peace. Surprisingly they got along so much better when they played together after.
Tomorrow i will try catch so pics of them and work out how to post them.

We all went for dinner last night for my Cousins 20th. It was a good night and all you can eat went down sooo well with the kids! She was born the same year as my brother and i wonder how long her events will be crowded with the thoughts of Joe would be .... too. For my parents the look on their face is less of a realisation of that, more like every time is something else being stolen from them. Last night they were reminded that they will grieve the loss of a son's 20th celebration, as well as the loss of a son this year. Still it was good to see family and eat rediculous amounts of soft serve ice cream covered in chocolate chips.

Carly, so how far away do you think we can get in September. A million miles away sounds good to me... maybe further.

power struggles

2009-02-11T12:03:00.004+09:00

so, lately i have noticed my 3 year old daughter has taken over, i mean under the radar so to speak but whatever i say, she says no, i will do this way/have that one/ do it soon... and my 1 year old(jaeda), well there is nothing subtle about how she rules the house. She is in full tanty mode whenever i require something of her and it's a battle to dress/change/feed/anything her. So i am about to open up a can of baby/childwise on them. I used it when they were babies admittedly not as thouroughly with my second, but with great results. Their sleep is still good as a legacy to that, but now miss 3(grace) needs to understand who is in charge and miss 1 CLEARLY needs more boundaries, seeing as she falls apart the minute her freedom is restricted.

I think if i write this it will help me stick to it, i sooo neeed to stick to it... so here is how it goes.

The gate is back on the bedroom door and each wll have half an hour of room time each day (playing on thier own with clear boundaries and a few selected toys), which will allow me to do an age approriate activity with the other. This will make a pleasent change from miss 1 (Jaeda) grabs paint brush and runs with paint flying on walls/clothes, me/her, or ask J show mummy where is the doggy in the book, only to have miss 3 (G) reach over and point, stealing little ones thunder.

Also, less tv, more structured activities and no more answering back-even subtly.

so today (and todays post) is mostly about them, and not me.

we shall see how this goes....

2009-02-10T19:53:00.000+09:00

So this will be my first post, kind of for theraputic value I think but on the advice of this special friend of mine I am going to (attempt to) start a blog. Should be relatively natural for me, I read blogs enough that i occasionally think in blog. I will leave it at that tonight but I guess the next few post will explain why i feel the need to write some things out and lets face it, facebook status updates just are not long enough anymore...