Today i am not so stoked to be a cops wife...

The first real downfall to being a cops wife strikes. We have just realised that Duncans squad have been assigned to an event on the 19th of this month, which is the same night as our (nearly) 4-year-old's first dance recital/ballet concert, which the whole family has already bought tickets for. She is so excited and dances around the house after every saturday practice.
How are we going to explain the empty seat where her Daddy should be. "Daddy has to work so we have money to buy all the things we need" just isnt gonna cut it on this one :(

Walking a while in my shoes...

not quite a mile, if i disappeared somewhere and there was noone else to cook and clean then maybe he might have to walk a mile but for now i will settle for a little while... I will explain.

These last 3 weeks D has been doing weapons training at the academy and as all the police a required to retrain once a year, the training facility is booked up during day hours when fewer officers are working so the recruits train in the evening. So for three weeks D has been hanging out at home during the day until 3 with us and then off to work until 11, much the same as I do on my non overnighter week at work. I think he kind of gets it now. You see who ever is on the afternoon "shift" at home has 3 hours with the kids until they go to bed then 4 hours down time. being at home with the family until 3 (when said family is made up of preschooler and toddler) is pretty full on, and then with no break off to work.

Now i am the one who gets the 4 hours down time to chill with no one else requiring attention or entertaining, and I get why he asks what i did all day. that is soooo much time to have nothing occupying your time. I dont think he will ever ask again "what have you done today", with a look that says why is there still dishes on the bench.

disclaimer- i do have to say as much as he is still male, i have to be honest and say i really dont have a leg to stand on when complaining about my husband. He has praobably changed nearly as many nappies as me, often is the first to get up for the kids, feeds, baths and dresses them after he gets home from work and will help around the house if I ask.(He does have that inate male quality of not knowing what needs to be done even when the washing pile is a metre high and there are no dishes left in the drawers or cupboards) He opens any door for me and is very willing provider of back rubs, foot rubs, gifts,encouragement and compliments, cute messages, prayer and Godly direction and even cups of tea recently. So even if he 'forgets' to take out the rubbish or conveniently 'cant' remember how to use the washing machine or dishwasher (even though he can operate machinery, power tools and model aircraft), I guess I have to admit i am absolutely blessed beyond measure in the husband department.

Night shift ramblings

So here I am, on my red eye shifts again, with a little more than a bit of time on my hands, so i am free to write a little about my week. Let me tell you (if anyone is actually reading this), denial and avoidance have served me well over the past few days.
Our hopes of buying our own house were all but quashed in the same week that Grandpa passed away. Did i mention the funeral happened to land on what would have been my brothers 20th birthday, our first without him. oh and it was held at the same memorial park his was. Needless to say i couldn't go. Should i have... yes, did i want to say a final goodbye to Grandpa, yes. Would i have curled up in a fetal position before leaving the car to go inside and stayed there for hours, possibly weeks if i tried to go back - who knows how function at times like these, but i couldn't risk it.

My mum and Dad got tattoos to mark his birthday, i probably would have too accept our pastors aren't too keen on tattoos and i am all for respecting the authority God has placed over us.
My dad got Joe(he is really not a complicated man) and my mum along with a picture she designed with various elements that are representative to her, got the words. 'i love you son, see you tomorrow'. Before you suggest i send out the suicide watch, she said that at his funeral too, i think like me, it is easier to pretend he is just being a little more anti social than usual and we are bound to see him soon than face reality.

So in this week of low points there were a few highlights too, Duncan finally got his confirmation letter for the start of his police academy training in July.

Youth group and Church are off the Richter - we have without exageration doubled in one term (youth that is) and it is all people that have never been in church before, not just collecting extra floaters from other churches,commenly referred to by my old youth pastor as 'sheep stealing' :).

The GKGW course is doing wonders with the kids, we are currently teaching grace the interupt courtesy and respect for elders. Jaeda is all but a new child since adding more structure and boundaries to her day, oh and did i mention my only just 3 year old used the word Incredible in a sentence, in context this week. Last week it was 'enourmous'.

We have the morning tea tomorrow at the Barnardos Mother of the year Awards. I nominated Carly back in January and she has made top 3 in the state. We find out tomorow if we fly to Sydney for the nationals.

Check out this online mag if you havn't already. It has heaps of sweet christian content, blog directory and they support heaps of charities and ministries with free add space. It had over 1 million hits on its last issue, if you weren't one of 'em you must check it out. if you were i know will be keen to check out the new issue. Oh and one of my photo's of esperance is in there :)

The longest day

I am somewhere near the middle of a 72 hour day in which i manage to get a few 1-2hr naps but no real sleep. This is because in the day time i am in charge of two small children and in the night i am in charge or 6 'at risk' young people. Good for me the small ones nap so i can steal some sleep during thier nap times. Ah the joys of shift work as a mother. still better than having someone else raise my shildren in a day care centre in my opinion (not that i am against it totally, the girls go one day a week so i can do ministry stuff, and for thier own developmental benifit but i hate the thought of someone else being the one to teach the what from what and right from wrong, what if their values are different and even if they were i dont think anyone can really have the authority to instill a high moral standard in children but thier immediate family. sure others can reinforce and influence but the early year are so formative.
Oh and i am not so nieve(sp?) to think that everyone has a choice, i know sometimes it is unavoidable, praise God for the provision of a job where i am able to work full time and still spend almost all of my childrens awake time with them. I know this is not always possible. If your child is in a care situation for a lot of hours a week, pray that their teachers would be likeminded and pray over your children that God will guard thier hearts from the wrong influence, behaviourally, spiritually or morally.

Well seeing as i am rambling and possibly overly opinionated at this hour of the who knows what, i shall go sugar soap some walls or sort something to keep myself awake.

He is my provider

My husband and I believe that God requires of us that al areas of our lives are submitted to Him to allow Him to work freely in them and we strongly believe (and have experienced) that when we submit our finances to Him, through tithing and being obedient in where He guides us to sow, he provides and blesses us.

Back in my new christian days our church had a one off 'first fruits' offering which was 1 weeks wages equivelent. i felt that although i only worked a few hours a week and altough i really needed more income at the time, God was calling me allow Him to be in control of my finances. So i putin my first fruits and the next night I had a shift at work. The rosters had changed and i had extra shifts tha meant every week i had what i had put in that offering extra, down to the cent. God had multiplied my offering 52fold, as i then made that amount extra every week.

t's no secret that times are tough, particulary for those in the building and construction trade. They dont loose their job and get a severence package, and virtually every one in the industy is effected in a slow down. The rates drop, the hours drop and the work dries up, so the wage that has been supporting our family has halved lately.

So i prayed and put out a facebook status and wihin a week i had a casual job, and now two weeks into it i have ben offered and have accepted a permanent postition.

It is evenings and nights and it works out to only a few hours away from the girls each week, nad those hours can be with thier Daddy, itis great work and because of the field comes with other financial govenment tax cuts and things. All in all it is too perfect to not be the divine prvision of a loving God!